​Read this on matthewdoan.com​

Read time: 3 minutes

Your success isn’t up to you.

It’s highly dependent on your partner (spoken from experience).

Real talk today, my friends. Let’s go.

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The Secret

Your partner’s energy will make or break you.

I learned this the hard way:

• Marriage 1: destroyed me
• Marriage 2: uplifts & enables me

Unless you’re a sociopath, the energy between YOU and your partner is ONE.

It's undeniable.

Think about how YOU feel when they’re down.

(Or how THEY feel when you’re down.)

To succeed as an individual AND as a couple, we need (high) energetic alignment with our partner.

“Good” energy means staying above the line:

Nurture an upward spiral; avoid downward spirals.

The “work” is both individual and joint (more on that below).

Let’s put this into context.

Right now, you might be:

• A badass corporate ladder climber
• Or the most relentless & motivated entrepreneur

Doesn’t matter — THAT is not the real work.

Do not overlook this point.

You are a chemical being — your actions won’t do shit if you’re operating from a low-energy (negative) state.

Feeling great → doing great

PERIOD.

So, that brings us to the most important work.

Ensuring you AND your partner have high energy ⚡

When that’s in place, everything is possible.

Without it, you’re living at a fraction of your potential.
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How to Raise Mutual Energy

I used to be unaware of the energy game. It crippled me.

But my mentors showed me how critical it is — and how much we can control it.

High energetic alignment between Cecilia & I produced:

• A fulfilling & spiritual marriage
• A movement-making business
• Unbelievable lifestyle freedom for our family

Energy work is your most consequential work.

(But most people are completely unaware.)

Here are three critical practices for raising your energy with your partner:

1. Morning Gratitude

• You’ve heard this before (but haven’t implemented it)
• Part of raising your energy is noticing and appreciating all the things you can be thankful for right now
• Ritualize this through walking, meditation, self-talk, or journaling
• Next-level move: be grateful in advance​
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2. Future Self Embodiment

• Start by creating a rich picture of your ideal future self: how do they think, speak, and behave?
• Now, pull that “future” identity into the present moment
• Spend an hour with your partner “role-playing” your future selves as a couple (try extending this for a whole Saturday)
• This will rewire your neurons to start activating this energizing new identity now (not later)
  ​

3. Energy-Raising Protocols

• Develop your protocols for processing negative emotions and re-entering a peak state
• This might include breathwork, reading, a nature walk, calling your coach, or lifting weights
• It’s when you’re feeling your worst that you must recommit to your energy-raising protocols
• Know your protocols and practice them regularly

Spiral up. Spiral down. Your choice.

Whatever you do, don’t go it alone.

Talk about this with your partner.

Raise your energies together.

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Mind-Bender

“Too much circulation makes the price go down: The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear. If you are already established in a group, temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired. You must learn when to leave. Create value through scarcity.”

—Robert Greene, The 48 Laws of Power

(HINT: apply this at your job)

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Podcast

​Hitting the Century Mark With the Podcast: It’s been a wild ride since starting Uncage Yourself in 2021. Upon reaching the 100th episode, I’m sharing my honest reflections on:

• Why I started a podcast
• The emotional highs and lows
• How it supports my core business
• The show’s future
• 7 entrepreneurial lessons you can apply now

I hold nothing back in this episode. I hope it helps.

That’s it for today, my friend! I appreciate you.

—Matt